Image by David Castillo Dominici
Living a truly compassionate life can be difficult. When interacting with others it’s easy to react to a situation based solely on what you know, and what is going on in your own life. Stepping outside yourself and into the shoes of another is one way to allow compassion to guide your decisions and actions. Still, that’s sometimes easier said than done. Here are a few tips to keep in mind that will help to keep you in that compassionate frame of mind:
Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt. Always assume that others have the best intentions–you don’t know everyone’s story. It’s easy to get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic or interrupts you in a meeting. But beyond what you’re aware of, the offender may have a lot on their plate. Perhaps a loved one is sick, or they are under a lot of pressure and stress. Try to think of things from their perspective, and realize that they are most likely not out to hurt you. If you are having trouble finding compassion for someone with views very different from yours, try to focus instead on what you have in common. Are you both loving mothers? Hard workers? Detail oriented and driven? When it comes to dealing with others, be empathetic and look at the big picture.
Avoid Negative Labels. By labeling others (for instance, as “disorganized,” “un-motivated” or “self-involved”) you square them off and negate the chance of a relationship blooming between the two of you—which will limit your potential for connection as well as theirs. Imagine how you would feel if you knew you were the recipient of such labels. Instead, consciously look for the best in people – and soon those positive thoughts will come more naturally than the negative ones.
Open Your Mind and Heart. By keeping an open mind and an open heart, you will find compassion comes more easily. There are a myriad of ways to open yourself to others. First, make a promise to truly listen, and assist without expectations. Don’t help or give to another assuming that one day they will return the favor; be willing to help them regardless of the outcome. Show forgiveness to those who have wronged you. This is an extremely difficult aspect of compassion. One way to make this easier is to think about a time you mistreated someone, and visualize them responding with kindness.
The truth is that when we treat others with compassion, we also benefit ourselves. Make a conscious effort to be kinder, more forgiving and more understanding, and you will receive the benefits of your efforts many times over in finding greater peace and happiness in your life, and in the lives of those around you.
